Top 10 questions on NewHymen.dk1. Can a man tell if a woman is virgin when they have sex because a virgin feels "tighter"?
Women feel no different to men after having sex. The mucous membrane is elastic and there are plenty of muscles in the pelvic region. So the answer is no! A man CANNOT tell whether or not a woman is a virgin when they have sex. Each woman is different. Each man is different. Whether or not the vagina feels tight depends on a range of factors, including the size of the man's penis.
2. Will the hymen grow back if I take a break from sex?
No, this is a myth. Lots of people think that the hymen is a closed membrane that breaks the first time you have sex. This is incorrect. There is an opening, even before having intercourse. This allows menstrual blood to pass. Only 1 woman in 2000 is born with a completely closed hymen. However, this is considered a disease and requires surgery.
3. Will I bleed on my wedding night if I have surgery?
Don't count on it. Surgery does not guarantee that you will bleed the first time you have sex again. Besides, you need to know that the operation will not actually give you a new hymen, just a couple of stitches to narrow the vagina. The vast majority of women I have spoken to who have undergone this surgery have failed to bleed.
4. Do all women bleed the first time they have sex?
No. Studies show that the vast majority of women do NOT bleed at first intercourse.
5. What do I need to do to get blood on the sheets?
First of all ask yourself: Is it really necessary? Many families believe that a girl can rupture her hymen doing sports and find peace in this explanation. Remember that your family has no interest in ruining your honour. After all: your honour is their honour. Some women choose to go on the pill and time their period to fit with their wedding night. If you feel threatened, seek help and counselling.
6. Can the doctor tell if I still have my hymen?
Lots of people think the doctor can tell wether or not a woman is a virgin by taking a quick glance at her vagina. This is incorrect. Assessing whether there are tears in the hymen requires highly specialized knowledge that few doctors possess. So it is impossible for others - be they family members or future husbands - to tell whether your hymen is intact.
7. Can I rupture my hymen doing sports?
Several gynaecologists consider it unlikely that physical activity can cause the hymen to rupture.
8. Can a man see or feel if my hymen is real or fake?
The answer is no.
9. What if I'm scared to talk to my doctor in case my family find out?
If you're over 18, your doctor is bound by doctor-patient confidentiality. This means he or she is not allowed to pass on any information about you. If you're under 18 doctors are obliged to let the local authorities know if they feel you are at risk. This does not mean your parents will automatically be told. If you explain that your situation will be much worse if your parents find out, this will be taken into consideration.
10. Will the local authorities pay for hymen reconstruction surgery if I tell them my family will kill me?
Never use the threat of honour killing as a means to finance surgery. It feeds prejudices about primitive Muslims killing their children. Accusing someone of threatening honour killing is very serious and should only be done if you truly feel your life is at risk. There are ways of getting help and counselling without having to resort to dramatics.